The Boxing Doula
I recently came across a post stating something along the lines of “doulas are there to fight for you.”
Let me start off by telling you that in my years of being a doula, I have never needed to “fight” anyone for my clients’ wishes.
I have had to remind my clients of their wishes that were discussed during their prenatal visits and ask if they have changed their mind or what they needed or make suggestions in order to make their wish a reality, especially if they wanted an unmedicated birth and now considering pain management.
I have had to support and guide my clients regardless of where their birthing journey took them… always asking, “Do you have any questions about that?”
Part of making decisions and being comfortable with the choices we make happens when we are a part of the conversation, can freely ask any questions, and weigh our options.
Being supported by your family, friends, medical team, and doula through your choices is helpful, but knowing that you have that power to make those choices yourself and be an advocate for yourself (fight for yourself) is the foundation of empowerment.
Let me say that again:
The power you hold is the foundation for your empowerment...
to ask questions, make decisions, to fight for yourself.
The birth room is no place for a boxing match.
Doulas should not be putting a fight in the birthing room. The birthing room is a sacred space where new life is about to emerge. This space should be filled with as much love, comfort, safety, and consideration.
At Rogue Valley Doulas we strive to build bridges with our clients’ medical team, because we believe that when we work collaboratively, we truly make a difference in our clients’ care. We do not fight. We learn what provider’s preferences are, what kind of protocols or procedures are in place at your birthing place and guide you through that by encouraging communication with your medical team about how those things set in place will positively or negatively affect you during labor.
You chose your medical provider for a reason, you trust this provider with the most precious moment in your life. If you don’t feel this way, seek a second opinion or a different provider. Southern Oregon has a great selection of OB practicing providers, whether you want a midwife or an obstetrician.
As your doula, we are not the boxers, we are the trainers. We are there to encourage you, support you, and remind you of the strength you have to fight for yourself.